Drink This

Pintfight: Mikkeller vs. Mikkeller vs. Mikkeller

Jeremy Short · June 4


A tragic battle is about to unfold. A battle that will leave you weeping in despair and crying out why oh why must it end this way? This Pintfight features three Mikkeller hoppy brews struggling for revenge and power. With Mikkeller being from Denmark, what better place to set this fight than the final moments of Shakespeare’s Hamlet?  Something is rotten in the state of Denmark and it’s not the beer (at least not these three).

Our Persons Represented

Hamlet – Played by Simcoe Single Hop Ale

Laertes – Played by I Hardcore You

Claudius, King of Denmark – Played by I Beat You

Scene. A Hall in the Castle.

Hamlet (Simcoe Single Hop) steps into the hall. He looks a bit hazy as he paces back and forth anticipating the oncoming fight—a powerful grapefruit aroma traces his steps. King Claudius (I Beat You) and Laertes (I Hardcore You) enter the hall ready for battle with a potent hoppy aroma and a bit more kick in their steps. Imperial these two are. Laertes is a bit muddled in his looks, but Claudius is a true royal with a brilliant clarity. Claudius steps aside to make way for the fight between Hamlet and Laertes and calls out:  “Not the king drinks to Hamlet. Come, begin.”

The Simcoe Single Hop Ale, wait I mean Hamlet, has lots of grapefruit flavor. The simcoe hop has become one of my favorites and this ale is out to prove why it’s soooo good. The bitterness is pretty hefty on the Simcoe hop as well, but this isn’t an overly bitter beer. There a great balance between the malts and the hops. The caramel flavor is fantastic and it finishes dry.

The I Hardcore You, wait I mean Laertes, is much more of a mess of malts. He’s a bit sweet and grainy. The hops add plenty of bitnerness, but the flavor isn’t nearly as interesting as the Simcoe Single Hop. You can also feel the gravity in this brew and this extra weight adds a little warmth and diminishes the drinkability a bit. A good beer, but next to Hamlet? Well Hamlet’s blade makes a nice strike and it looks as though the fight will be his.

I Beat You, wait I mean King Claudius, is one tasty beast. This potent beer is very drinkable and the cleanest tasting of the bunch. This ale is a bit more balanced than I Hardcore You and it’s weighty-ness is less obvious and smoother. Again, plenty of hops and plenty of bitterness love is jammed into this little bottle.

But, here’s the thing, King Claudius has setup this whole fight to ensure that he wins. See he has poisoned the tip of Laertes’ sword and also a cup of wine at his table. One way or the other he’s going to take Single Hop... I mean Hamlet down. In the heat of battle with a quick strike, Leartes manages to pierce Hamlet and the poision is set, but as his heart still beats and Hamlet is unawares that his wound is mortal he takes Laertes’ own poised blade and use it against him and I Hardecode You... I mean Laertes calls out, “I am justly kill’d with mine own treachery.” Then he tells Hamlet of his on approaching fate:

It is here, Hamlet: Hamlet, thou art slain;
No medicine in the world can do thee good;
In thee there is not half an hour of life

A half an hour, that’s plenty of time for Hamlet to take down Claudius, which he manages to do with the poisoned wine. Hamlet tells Claudius as he drains the glass of wine into the King’s throat: “here, thou incestuous, murderous, damned Dane, Drink off this potion.” Just another day in Denmark. So basically, these all three good beers and it's a shame they all died in the end. If I had to pick one to be the tastiest of the bunch, I would go with the Simcoe Single Hop Ale. I mean, how could I not pick Hamlet?