How to manage your homebrew addiction
Homebrewing is a painful addiction. Not for the addict, but for the people who live around the addict and constantly have to hear references to archaic beer styles or sentences like “I can’t wait to check out the new US96H hop breed ... You got to come over and check out my new keezer fan ... check out this double imperial all-brett porter I made!” How does one balance their home brewing addiction with their loved ones who could care less about what they have sitting in secondary fermentation? Well, here is my useful advice for managing your addiction!
First, let’s see if you have a problem. Do any of the following apply to you?
- Do you have a blog? Nothing better says you have given up on other parts of your life by writing a blog. It also says, I take my addiction seriously.
- Do you wear a white jacket while brewing? This says you are possibly crazy.
- Do you Instagram pictures of beer? This tells the world that you actually find images of beer something worth sharing. That’s just ridiculous.
- Does your wife randomly find brewing equipment lying around your house, such as in her sock drawer? This is sure to piss off someone.
- Do you keep your carboys near your bed so that the sound of fermentation can gently rock you to sleep?
- Do you wear clothing with images of hop leafs and/or barley? Is this really much different than a wolf pack t-shirt?
If you do three or more of these things you have a problem. Personally, I have a problem I am guilty of nearly everything on that list. What do you do? How can you hold it together? Here are some tips:
- Shut up. Not everyone needs to know about your homebrew.
- Stop wearing your homebrew medals to work.
- Clean up your gear. As long as everything looks nice and neat it’s less likely to find the wrath of the people you live with. For that matter, keep it organized.
- Do not say why you think beer is better when you are at a friend’s house and they pour you a glass of wine. Just enjoy the wine.
- Shave your beard.
- Buy a wolf t-shirt. I just really like this wolf t-shirt.
- Get one more addiction so that you can be annoying at two things instead of one. See, this will make you half annoying at homebrewing and half annoying at hobby two. That’s better than being fully annoying at hobby one, right?
- Make good beer. Give good beer away freely. This is the best way to make people not hate you.
- Only talk about homebrewing when your audience is drunk.
I think you will find that using just a few of these techniques you will be able to balance your homebrew addiction with the world around you. And maybe you will even convince a few people along the way to take up the homebrewing addiction with you.
UPDATE: Remember to thank your wife for putting up with your addiction. Thanks, wife. This post is dedicated to you (per your request).