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 Beer Gear  Cleaning  Homebrew  Homebrew How-Tos

How to fucking clean your kettle or mash tun

Jeremy Short · Sept. 26

 

You've been brewing up beer for a while and then one brew day you look down in your kettle and realize crap, this fucking thing is looking like shit. Well here's a quick guide on how to get that shit out of there.

Cleanliness is fucking important in brewing. That’s why I am going to say shit and fuck a lot in this post. Got it? Fucking good.  

Here's the shit you're going to have to fucking buy to get your damn kettle clean:

  • PBW - I pimp the shit out of this stuff on this blog for a reason: it’s fucking awesome.
  • Steel wool or some other stainless steel scrubbing thingy. Here's an awesome one.
  • Before I forget, this thing is only for stainless fucking steel. If you have a plastic mash tun (one of these), don't use steel wool use something like this.

Oh wait... you just realized that this is pretty unfucking glamorous? Yeah, you're right. This is just fancy dish cleaning.

Moving on… First you need to determine your soil level (how much shit you have caked on your kettle). Below is my filthy keg which has faithfully served me as a kettle, mash tun, hot liquor tank, and battering ram. As you can see it was fucking dirty. So I would say the soil level is on the high end, which means fill up your kettle with PBW and hot water and let it sit. Here’s PBWs suggested usage (fucks and shits added):

Use 1 to 2 oz. per gallon of water for single brew cleaning. For multiple brew cleaning, use 1.5 oz. per gallon of fucking water. Soak that shit, scrub, or a combination of the fucking two, for 25 to 30 fucking minutes with warm to really fucking hot water. Rinse that shit immediately after with the same temperature water.

Translation: dirty means 2 oz. and kind of dirty means 1 oz. I use a single gallon of water for my ten gallon kettle and mash tun. While most of my cleanings are just the 30 minute soak I will go a lot longer if it’s real dirty and let it soak overnight. After soaking it’s pretty fucking magical how much will just come off on it’s own. The water will turn a crappy brown color and you can just dump that shit out. Remember to be careful if you are using your kitchen sink not to fucking break anything or to to spill hot water on the damn floor or burn yourself or whatever.

Scrub that shit

Now you should be left with that hard unrelenting crap that just doesn't want to give up. This is the stuff that wants to be a part of every beer batch you make. Don’t give in! Don’t let the dirt win! Now is the time to break out your secret weapon, the steel wool. Boom! Start scrubbing, baby.

Bonus item Casabella Waterstop Premium Rubber Gloves, Large - this way you look like you're serious. Side note: you will also look a wee bit like a serial killer. You really have to dig in here. A nice shiny kettle is so worth it! Right? After many long hours of scrubbing you will have this beautiful looking kettle. Just look at the difference! Bling!

Magnificent! You will feel so fancy the next brew day when you whip out your gear and everyone says: “New kettle?” and you reply, “Nope. I just fucking cleaned it.”

NB - If you are new to pintwell.com, I don’t usually write fuck and shit so much.

 

 

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